And She Said Yes
As promised, the other side. This is part 2 of the proposal, told by B himself.
Hey ya’ll, this is “B”. I’m writing a post here on my wife’s blog, and since she just posted a piece on our engagement, I thought I’d give my take on the whole thing.
To get the full picture, I’m gonna start in June 2013.
I had been looking for the perfect ring, and simply could not find anything I knew Sarah would like. To be honest, I actually purchased a few rings along the way, but ended up returning all of them. You see me and Sarah were always honest with each other. So she knew that I would propose at some point, she just didn’t know when or where. But I did snoop on her pinterest page to see what kind of ring she would like.
She wanted something low profile, simple, yet elegant. Since I am the opposite, it was hard for me to find the right ring. If I was a girl, I would have wanted the most extravagant ring on the market: big and gawdy, a big ol’ rock poking up out of a fancy band. But that’s not Sarah’s taste.
The moment I found the right ring was pretty magical. I was ring shopping with Sarah’s best friend and my little brother. I had looked at everything in the store, but nothing was right. The lady behind the counter asked me if I liked anything she had out, and I said no. As I was about to move on to another store, she told me to wait. She had a secret stash under the counter of some rings that weren’t on display. She reached down and brought up the ring that I had been looking for all along. It was perfect. It was a beautiful low profile solitaire made out of platinum. It was finally the right ring! Sarah’s best friend knew it too, and she was in tears when she saw it.
So now I had the ring. The next step was actually proposing. It wasn’t an easy task. Eventually, I decided to propose to her at the County Fair, where we had spent most of our time together growing up.
Unfortunately, there were some sad happenings that led me to delay the proposal. There were people very close to Sarah that REALLY didn’t want her to get engaged, and they made this very clear to me. I was given strong reason to reconsider my thoughts of engagement. It sounded more like a threat to me, but I guess now it doesn’t really matter. Needless to say, the time in my life where I thought I would be happy and filled with joy, I was feeling rather upset and depressed. It wasn’t the way I had every hoped it would be.
Now I had felt for a long while that God wanted Sarah and I to get married earlier than most couples do. I can’t explain how, but I felt a strong conviction. I knew it with every bone in my body… God wanted us to get married in 2014. So I had to answer a question within my own soul before I could propose to Sarah.
Would I obey God and my convictions, or would I obey someone else?
This was not an easy decision. It felt like everyone was against me at one point or another, with the exception of a few select people. Eventually, I decided that if I didn’t do what I felt was right, I wasn’t worthy of her anyway. Since I am a stubborn and passionate person, I decided to do what I felt was right regardless of the possible fallout if I went against the threats of others. Again, this was not an easy decision. But pushing fear aside and making hard decisions to do what is right, is what God calls men to do.
I had to summon every ounce of sack I owned to fight for what I believed in.
But I knew God would protect me. By his grace, I proposed. In the midst of fear and doubt, God gave me stones I didn’t know I had. He was so faithful.
And we were given grace from God to do what he called us to do:
So let’s get to the climax of this little story. One night, I had Sarah over to dinner. I made her a meal, went on a walk with her, gave her birthday presents, and danced with her in the kitchen of my Parent’s house. The whole time, I was so frickin’ nervous. I was shaking most of the time, but tried my best to hide it. The feeling was surreal… I was about to propose… I was about to seal my fate.
It was especially hard knowing what might happen after the proposal. Let’s not forget the threats. I had always imagined it differently… I would be in love and everyone around me would support me, and be excited for me. But instead I felt alone. I felt scared and unsettled.
But God was faithful. So I hatched this plan to slip the ring into Sarah’s pocket while we were dancing. I did it so seamlessly and discreet that I think it must have been by the power of God. She didn’t even notice! I was pumped.
I handed her our notebook, and at the end of what I wrote, I asked her to check her pockets. She looked confused when she read it… but she stood up and checked her pockets…
And behold… A ring! A ring that I had so sneakily placed there.
I dropped down on one knee, and asked her to marry me.
At this point, I’m sure some of you readers are thinking: “Awe, that’s adorable!” or something like that. I wished I, or other people had felt the same way at that moment.
You see in the midst of my joy and happiness of the commitment I had just made, there was still the thoughts of sadness swirling in my brain from the recent events.
Bittersweet? Yup. But it was still sweet.
Was there some fallout due to going against the grain?
Heck yes. It was a rough couple of months. So rough and degrading that I still feel the marks it left on my soul. I try my hardest these days to not let it get to me.
The lesson I learned from proposing to my wife against the will of others, was that God is faithful. You see, I was tempted to abort mission. I WANTED to throw my hands in the air and quit. I WANTED to lay on my back and submit to others in the face of fear.
But God gave me strength. And eventually, everyone came around. They got used to the idea.
I think that what Sarah and I did, was a means by which God would pull at the hearts of the people who were against us. We all have fear. And the reason I received these threats in the first place was because the people giving them were fearful. My hope is that God uses our engagement and marriage to help others trust in Jesus more, and to see more clearly how faithful God is.
True love, the kind of love that we all hope to find with our significant other, is a love that is FEARLESS.
I don’t want a love that bends to the will of other people. I want a love that bends only to the will of God, and will survive in the midst of great fear.
If you’re reading this and you want a taste of that fearless love, hit up my man Jesus Christ. He’ll show you a love that is so fearless, that he put himself on a splintery slab of wood to purchase it for us. He was literally tortured for us.