And He Got Down on One Knee

Welcome back! The moment you’ve all been waiting for, because who doesn’t like a good proposal story? As with all stories though, there is more than one side.

My dad says there are actually three sides to every story, what you remember, what they remember and what really happened.  For this story we are going to be looking at two of the sides, what I remember and what B remembers. Today is my side of things and then B will share his side!! 



Without further adieu, our engagement:

It was my birthday. It was a gorgeous beautiful fall day, the best you’ve ever seen! I don’t quiet remember what I did that day, except that I had two classes in the afternoon. I do remember after my last class of the day (Phonics), I had a women’s Bible Study. We were walking through the book of Esther. I remember the Bible Study going well.

I remember B waiting outside the church on campus. The sun was a beautiful shade of yellow, bathing us in a blanket of sunshine.

B drove us back to his house. We talked like we normally did. He told me he had a fun night planned for us, to celebrate my birthday.

I asked him if we could go for a walk before the sun set for the evening. He agreed and when we got back to his house, we walked up to Pappa’s lake. It was beautiful; an exceptionally quiet peaceful moment. Of course, I had my camera and I pestered B to let me take some photos of us. I placed the camera strategically and set the timer and snapped some good shots.

After awhile we headed back down to his house. I remember being thankful for such a beautiful fall day and to be able to spend the evening with B.

I walked into his parent’s kitchen and immediately noticed it looked different. The table had been moved to the far end of the kitchen, shrunk to fit two. Christmas lights outlined the window lighting to the table. The table was set all fancy. Wine was poured into our glasses and food was on the table. B made an incredible meal and we shared it just the two of us.

B cleared our plates and told me to wait with my eyes closed while he went upstairs to get my birthday presents. I obliged thinking nothing out of the ordinary was about to happen. It was my birthday after all and I did expect presents.

B came down stairs and placed the presents on the table. He told me to open my eyes. On the table was a big fuzzy fleece blanket that B had taken the time to make. There was a card and a couple of CDs. I hugged B and thanked him for my presents.

He said he wanted to dance, which was a little out of the ordinary but it was a romantic dinner and dancing seemed like the perfect thing to do. He turned on a song and we danced to it, in the middle of his kitchen (where the table used to be) in the light of the Christmas lights. It was beautifully romantic. Best birthday ever! I thought, “Oh how lucky I was to be in the arms of such a man as this.”

When the song had ended he told me that he had one more present. Again thinking nothing out of the ordinary was taking place, I eagerly anticipated my next gift.

He pulled out our journal from behind his back. We had been missing it for months— rather B said he misplaced it. We used it a lot freshman year to write back and forth to each other. I would have it for one month and then he would have it for another. It was really nice to read his words when I felt alone and forgotten. It also helped to write to him, randomly when I would think of something or just felt like writing something to him. I was upset that he had lost it, and honestly I expected it to not be found.

He said that he had written a new entry in it, which was normal, and he wanted me to read it, which was normal. So I sat down at the table to read the latest love letter written to me!

As I was reading it, I couldn’t help but think that it was pretty pointed. I promise, I promise, I promise….I felt it coming, but I wouldn’t allow myself to read ahead. Then I got to the question, I knew it (or so I thought);

Will you check your pocket?

Didn’t expect that. Totally surprised and thrown off.

I checked my pockets and inside…

…was a ring.

B then got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

It takes me awhile to process things. Really, I may be one of the slowest processors alive. In that moment I don’t think it hit me that I had just been proposed to, or that we were now engaged.

It is a weird thing to be one thing one instant and then suddenly something else.

Of course I wanted to know everything, so I sat on his lap and asked questions, and tried to wrap my mind around being engaged, around us actually getting married. It really was happening.

We were engaged!!

We spent the rest of the evening relaxing at his house. I spent most of it staring at my ring.

The next part was the hardest part, leaving. The night quickly came to end. The “clock struck twelve” and it was time for me to return to my normal life. B drove me back to Mount and we said a tearful goodbye. I never liked leaving him, but that night was especially hard.

Unfortunately, it was about to get a lot harder. Not everyone was exceptionally thrilled about us getting engaged, especially since our plan was to not be engaged for that long.

The joy of our engagement was swiftly overshadowed by fears, doubts and concerns. They followed us like a stalker. Getting engaged didn’t clear the waters.

It is hard to be happy when you feel like the whole world is against you, against you getting married, against you following what you felt called to do.

I had dreams of empty seats. I felt unsupported and unloved. B and I weren’t being reckless. We had prayed A LOT and felt in our hearts that this was what God wanted us to do. But we looked foolish from the outside and our perceived foolishness was not gaining us any favors.

It is EXTREMELY hard to do something you believe to be right when you face opposition and hesitation from those you love. I just wanted everyone to be behind us; I wanted everyone’s support. I wanted everyone to be as excited as we were, to be as thrilled as we were.

This was the hardest thing I had ever gone through, though I’m sure it will be matched or surpassed. At a time that was meant to be happy and exciting, I felt sadness and sorrow. I had people tell me to just wait. Wait till everyone will be ok with it. That was the advice I got.

But it wasn’t about them, it wasn’t even about us. It was and will always be about God. This was his story, this is his story, a story of redemption and love. And in him our hope rested, that even though I walked through what seemed like the valley of death, I was not alone, and it was not for nothing.

Next >>

{the other side}

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I love a good plain t-shirt, pizza, snuggling with my dog and hanging out with my husband. My mission? To speak truth and grace to help encourage other women to know they are never alone.

I'm Sarah Jean.

I’m the girl who came to realize the freedom in not being the author of my story.

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A mid-western girl who learned the freedom in letting go of my plans and walking in His. My goal is encourage others on that path and point them to Him.

I'm Sarah.


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