51 Questions For Closer Intimacy



B and I have been married a year and a half now. It’s crazy to think about. It feels like just yesterday we went on our honeymoon.

Looking back I see now how little we knew each other then. Even though we had been friends since we were little, we were something of strangers when we said “I do.”

That’s the crazy thing about weddings, in some sense the two people getting married are strangers, embarking on a journey to discover one another.

At least that’s how I feel. B and I have grown so much, and I know him more today than I did on our wedding, and yet there is still so much I don’t yet know.


I consider it an honor to have a lifetime {God willing} to get to know him. To journey the depths of his heart and mind. To understand him more fully.



As his friend and wife, that’s my job, to pursue him, to get near him, to understand him, as it is his with me. We frequently ask each other questions to better understand one another, to get close to one another.

I believe it is one of the greatest things a couple can do to help grow intimacy, just spending time with one another listening and asking questions. It’s something we did when we first started dating and have continued ever since.

We have created a list of 57 questions that you can ask your spouse. Our hope is that this list would encourage you to pursue one another and seek to know one another more. The questions are separated into different levels. They are meant to provoke thought and help level any barriers that might be in between you and your spouse.

Answer honestly, welcome intimacy. Enjoy.


Level 1

1.     Where are my keys?

2.     Where’s Waldo?

3.     When was the last time we washed the windows?

4.     What household chore do you hate doing the most?

5.     What is your favorite color?

6.     What animal would you be?

7.     What musical instrument would you learn?

8.     Which do you prefer, beach or mountains?

9.     Which do you prefer, cold or warm?

10. Which do you prefer, the city or the country?

11.  Which do you prefer, pancakes or waffles?

12. Which do you prefer, a sunset or a sunrise?

13.  What do you use to eat Mac N Cheese?

14. If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?

15. If you could buy anything what would be?

16. If you could pick a super power what would you pick?

17. Where would you like to go on vacation?


Level 2

18. What is your favorite place to visit?

19. What is your biggest dream?

20. What is your favorite childhood memory?

21. What is your favorite date that we’ve been on?

22. Where do you feel most comfortable?

23. What makes you happy?

24. What do you hate doing?

25. What haven’t you finished that you would like to?

26. What is your biggest regret?

27. What do you want your tombstone to say?

28. Where do you see us in five years? Ten years?

29. What you wish you could do but haven’t?

30. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?


Level 3

31. What are you feeling?

32. What are you thinking about?

33. What are you most afraid of?

34. What do you hope for?

35. How do feel most loved?

36. What do you want out of life?

37. What do you want for us?

38. How do you see me? What words would you use to describe me?

39. What are you most proud of?

40. How do you see yourself? What words would you use to describe yourself?

41. What do you believe is the most difficult thing we have faced as a couple? How did we overcome it?

42. What is the most uncomfortable I have ever made you?

43. What do you think God is trying to teach us?

44. What do you think God wants for us?

45. What truth do you have a hard time believing about God?

46. What truth do I have a hard time believing about God?

47.  What miracles has God done in our lives?

48. What things are you keeping from God?

49. What makes you hate God?

50. In which way do you see God more; father or friend?

51. What about God scares you the most?


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I love a good plain t-shirt, pizza, snuggling with my dog and hanging out with my husband. My mission? To speak truth and grace to help encourage other women to know they are never alone.

I'm Sarah Jean.

I’m the girl who came to realize the freedom in not being the author of my story.

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A mid-western girl who learned the freedom in letting go of my plans and walking in His. My goal is to encourage others on that path and point them to Him.

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